Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
**Disclaimer: This was incredibly difficult to write. I’m not overly comfortable tooting my own horn, but I didn’t want this list to be superficial. It’s long. Skip it if it bores you. But this is a pretty decent summary of who I am in 2014.**
1. I’m one of the most stubborn people on the planet. This is a double-edged sword. It means I’m not a pushover, but knowing when to back down, when to walk away, when to try something new, is a learned skill and something I’m always working on. It also means I rarely engage in conflict willingly, perhaps because I don’t trust myself to be logical about such things once my emotions engage my stubborn-brain.
2. If I could have my dream job, I’d be a nature photographer who gets paid to travel the world and has all the best camera equipment. Sadly, National Geographic has yet to notice my Flickr page OR my DeviantArt page. Sigh. I have an entry-level D-SLR and make it a point to get out into nature as often as possible and take pictures. It grounds me.
3. I’m incredibly naïve and trusting of people, even when faced with blatant evidence that I should not be. I think it’s because being deliberately deceitful and/or manipulative doesn’t ever occur to me. I genuinely don’t understand the games many people play that end up in hurt and confusion. This means I have had to guard my heart – I will trust you, I will care about you, but I’m not sure what it would take to get all of my heart any more. And that’s sad.
4. I’m a pescatarian. This means I don’t eat land animals, only fish. I do eat eggs and cheese and other dairy products. Most people aren’t familiar with the term, so I often just say I’m vegetarian. But I really love fish and seafood. I don’t shove my choice down anyone’s throat, and I don’t preach about it. I am perfectly capable of grilling the best steak you’ve ever had (apparently….I’ve never liked steak). I have a leather purse and a pair of leather shoes. Again, this is not something I push on others, but a decision that helps me feel a bit better about my impact on our planet. I don’t eat land animals for several reasons:
- I’ve never been overly fond of meat – I’ve never liked beef other than ground beef, for example.
- I think that the way my society treats animals destined for food is abominable. Yes, I realize dairy cows could be included in this and some may view my choices to include dairy in my diet as hypocritical. I’ve toured some local dairy farms – big and small, and I’m OK with my decisions.
- I’ve also seen the numbers on how much resources like fresh water growing animals for food takes compared to growing plants for food. I’m not opposed to humans eating meat in a sustainable way, but right now, the meat available to me doesn’t meet those requirements in my book.
5. I read almost every night before I go to bed. I used to have stacks of books by my bed, now I have several in the queue in my Nook app on my iPad. I read fiction – lots of historical fiction, modern fiction, psychological thrillers, some fantasy. Reading is an escape as well as a comfort. I’ve been a voracious reader from the age of four. I have bookshelves overflowing in every room of the house. Reading for pleasure (the reading I do for work and school is not the same) is absolutely essential to who I am and to my well-being.
6. I’m active in Second Life, an online virtual world, and have been since June of 2007. I first found Second Life while working on my Masters in Educational Technology degree and explored it first as an educator. I quickly found it infinitely more useful as a supportive community, and once I found the Femdom communities….I was hooked. In Second Life, I have a solid, thriving community of incredibly intelligent and strong dominant women from all over the world – we joke, we laugh, we vent, we share stories, we support each other. I’ve also met some incredible submissive men and women in my community there. I have yet to find a community that comes close in comparison in “real life”. I’ve met around a dozen people I first got to know in Second Life and it’s been awesome every time.
7. I’m quite comfortable with myself and have no issue going to a movie or out for a meal solo. While I’m looking, ultimately, for a partner, I prefer to live alone or at least to have ample space to myself. At first glance, I don’t appear to be quite the introvert I truly am, but it’s definitely part of who I am and how I’m wired.
8. The “Geek” part of my online handle is quite accurate:
- My father was an electrical engineer and taught me chess and other logic games (including some obscure ones like Wff-N-Proof) from the time I was five years old.
- I enjoyed Algebra so much that by the age of nine, I was offering to do my babysitter’s Algebra homework in exchange for getting to stay up past my bedtime.
- I helped my father build HeathKit computers at age eight – soldering the circuits to the motherboard myself.
- He and I dove into programming a few years later.
- I was active in online forums and bulletin boards long before there was a “World Wide Web”, saving up babysitting and paper route money to pay my parents the hourly rate ($6) for Netscape access.
- I managed the first computer lab in a dorm at my university in 1988, and was the first female lab employee, let alone manager.
- I was the only American female in my undergrad computer science classes.
- I watched Star Trek and Star Wars avidly from the time I was six and seven, respectively.
- I watched Battlestar Gallactica before that.
- I played Dungeons and Dragons with a group of guys, starting when I was thirteen (in 1983…oh to still have those books….) and continued into college. I was always one of two or three girls at most who played in our groups. This was the major source of the dating pool for me in high school and college.
- I turned down a Chemistry scholarship my senior year in high school and made my chemistry teacher (a nun!) cry. Awkward.
- I’ve met Bill Nye and totally fan-girled, even though I was over 40. I even took a selfie of us. I have no shame.
- I ran a chess club at a central-city school where I was the computer teacher and had over 40 kids from the poorest neighborhoods enthusiastically participating week after week.
- I was on my Quiz Bowl team in high school, appearing on local television twice.
- I moderated a very successful Quiz Bowl team for seven years when I taught middle school.
- I play/compete in an invitation-only, online trivia league that includes some of the top quiz-minded folks on the planet (I’m in the minority having never made it on Jeopardy!). I’m happy to land solidly in the middle of the pack every season.
- I do crosswords in pen and logic puzzles for fun.
9. The “Domme” part of my online handle is also incredibly accurate, but not necessarily in any stereotypical way:
- I’ve always bossed boys around, even when I was three or four years old – there’s written evidence to attest to this.
- I was constantly told to stifle my natural personality – by teachers, by other girls, by my mother.
- I eventually bought into this mindset and tried a very conventional marriage.
- It failed utterly.
- I then embraced kink and tried a very kinky marriage with a man who understood less about D/s than I did, which is saying something.
- Utter failure number two.
- When I finally discovered other women like me (see #6 above), I had an epiphany.
- I’ve been working ever since to live a more authentic life – one that is true to who I really am.
- I’ve been active in my local community and had several D/s relationships (the longest lasting three and a half years) and am still learning and growing.
- There’s more about my dominant side elsewhere on the Internet and there will likely be more about that here on this blog as time goes on. Rest assured though, I’m a dominant woman at my very core, and I refuse to compromise who I am for anyone ever again.