Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now:
*This was trickier for me. I’m not an overly visual person – I don’t think in pictures as much as words and concepts. And as always, the standard disclaimer applies: These are accurate for today, and would likely be very different in a month or a year.*
1. This is Werner Heisenberg and the uncertainty principle he’s famous for. The uncertainty principle is fundamental to quantum mechanics and in lay terms means that you cannot know precisely two quantities about an object (usually defined as position and momentum). In other words, if you know the precise location (position) of something, you cannot also know its precise momentum (and vice versa).
This image of uncertainty is an accurate representation of where I’m at right now. There’s a lot of change and flux in my life and I have zero idea where I’m headed in some key ways. For example, I know that I am in graduate school working on a PhD, but I have no idea where that’s leading me, career-wise. I know that my daughter is moving on to college in August, but I have no idea where she’ll end up.
Uncertainty isn’t bad – heck, it’s pretty much status quo for the universe as we understand it through quantum mechanics, but it’s not a comfortable state for me. I, like most human beings, like to pretend I have way more control over things than I really do.
2. Open boxes. A long time ago, in an earlier incarnation of my online presence, I used an image of closed boxes – lots of them – to represent where I was at then. I had been living my life very compartmentalized. There was the mom box, the daughter box, the teacher box, the student box, the wife box, the Domme box, the friend box…..it was exhausting and frustrating. I said over and over that I wanted to be able to live my life more authentically, that I was tired of living in tiny, restrictive boxes.
I’m not quite there – not yet. But I’ve been opening more boxes lately. The lines between a lot of the boxes have blurred and worlds have collided and BAD THINGS did not happen. There are still some boxes (as there are some closed boxes in the image above), but that’s OK. I’m moving toward living my own, authentic life, and I’m opening boxes along the way.
Image sources: Heisenberg collage: http://muonray.blogspot.com/2013/10/uncertainty-man-werner-heisenberg.html Boxes: http://www.scatolificiosantostefano.com/scatole-di-cartone/produzione-scatole-fuori-misura/