Where am I?

Who I am and What I Bring to the Table

  • Smart, funny, stubborn as hell and always in charge
  • Lifelong learner, occasional knitter of socks, hats, and Dr. Who scarves, and avid reader
  • Far kinkier than I appear, with a wide range of kinky interests and skills
  • A technology geek, a science geek, a word geek (but not a comic book or gaming geek)
  • A digital native, a (nature) photographer, an introvert who plays the role of an extrovert rather convincingly
  • A creative mind (be careful what you wish for)
  • Acceptance of all and unwavering devotion to those close to me
  • A rational and thoughtful approach to D/s and life
  • A sense of humor that is closer to a British sensibility (think Monty Python) and rather heavy on word play and puns.
  • Entirely more sadistic than I appear at first glance – never judge a book by its cover nor a woman by her sensible clothes and haircut.
  • Rope? Hell, yes. I’m always the one who does the tying, don’t expect otherwise.

My Philosophy

I live by my personal code of ethics, which boils down to:

  • Do no harm
  • Meet people where they are
  • Accept people as they choose to present to you
  • People first, roles second

My Approach to D/s

The inherent energy exchange in a D/s dynamic is deeply arousing and attractive to me. Despite being a reaction junkie to my core, I seek deeper connections than most casual play opportunities offer. Above all, I seek someone who resonates with my dominant energy, someone who chooses to submit to me after careful and thoughtful deliberation (not just because of my “role” up there at there at the top).

While there is certainly a sadistic side to me, it is not always immediately apparent. I lean more toward psychological control and sensual domination. I love to have protocols in place when in public that the average person would not think twice about – from him walking half a pace behind me to me ordering his food at a restaurant. Subtle things that don’t draw attention to what is essentially a very private (albeit extremely powerful) dynamic.

But sometimes inflicting pain on a consenting person is just fucking hot.

Submissive does not equal “less”. D/s is about an exchange of energy; a deliberate and consensual power imbalance. It’s about clearly defined roles both in and out of the bedroom. Shared kinks are good but so is growing and learning about new ones together. Kink is what helps reinforce and amplify the nature of a D/s relationship.

Poly? Yes. Each person that comes into my life is unique and meets a unique aspect of my psycho-emotional-social needs. When the nature of my relationship with someone changes, for whatever reason, you may see them disappear from my status up there, but rest assured – they are almost certainly still in my life in some form – usually friendship.


Currently enjoying a wonderful partnership with a man who embraces wholeheartedly my polyamorous nature and is blossoming into a wonderful masochist and devoted submissive.

My partner is openly bisexual and we are open to discussing entanglements or opportunities with the right individual. The chemistry and compatibility would need to be just right, so we fully recognize this is a long shot.

I am also open to discussing other forms of service, from bottoming to cleaning.

“I like being alone. I have control over my own shit. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to feel better than my solitude. You’re not competing with another person, you are competing with my comfort zones.”
~ Horacio Jones

I currently live in a 200 year old farmhouse that needs some love. If you’re handy and/or enjoy cleaning, and are serious about wanting to serve in this way (i.e. you genuinely seek service for service’s sake, not in expectation of sexual or kinky favors), please contact me.


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