I had the good fortune to be able to attend KinkyCon X in New Hampshire this past weekend. By my count, this was my 9th major kink convention, with 8 of those occurring in the past two years. I’m getting pretty adept at kinky conventions. I know what to pack. I know what food and beverages to bring. I know that I need the day after a weekend-long con off work to recover and ease my re-entry into vanilla-land. KinkyCon, being on the smaller side (~600 attendees), meant I knew somewhere between 40-50% of the people there and a good number of the presenters. I was a little worried I wouldn’t find a lot of classes to attend that were both new to me and in my wheelhouse. Thankfully, I need not have worried!
At this convention, I was accompanied by my newest partner, Hobbes. As I’ve written before, he’s new to D/s and new to a lot of kink. This was his first kink convention he’d participated in (despite being an assistant photographer for a runway show at a Fetish Flea several years ago). I remember how overwhelming the world of kink and a weekend long kink convention can be when you’re new to such things. So I was careful to prep him on the drive up and check in with him frequently throughout the weekend. We attend six different classes and he attended the BDSM sampler on Friday night as well. He enjoyed every single class and everything he saw and experienced. He has a lot to process, still, but literally everything resonated with him. He got to learn how to tie a few ties, and be tied up more (which he loves). He got to be “whipped” by a bandana and twine whip (that one was completely new to me!). He learned how to bootblack and later got his own shoes bootblacked. He learned more about different dynamics and approaches to touch – from head to toe (literally). He got to experience the feeling of melted soy wax on his skin. He got to observe a wide variety of people pursuing their own paths of kink and power-exchange. He even got to see a scene that resulted in the bottom getting injured, due to an error made by the top. Thankfully, the bottom was OK, but it was an opportunity to talk about the risks and mitigating such risks in what we do.
Before he met me there was a lot he didn’t know about himself – including the fact that he enjoys pain (at least, pain inflicted by me). A lot. I’ve never been able to really let my sadistic side have free reign – partners’ limits and tolerances always fell short of any potential limits of my sadism. But with Hobbes…I’ve gone further in inflicting pain than ever before and I don’t think I’ve come CLOSE to finding his limit. This is going to be a fun ride!
KinkyCon was a fantastic opportunity to try out different impact implements (we won’t mention how much was spent in the vending area…ahem…). As I’m a reaction junkie at my core, his responses to my sadism (the boy giggles when in pain!), his utter trust in me and willingness to suffer for me, brought out something of a primal side in me Saturday night. It was a very private (in our hotel room), scene – one of the most intense I’ve ever had. I won’t go into details, but I think that scene ramped up our relationship significantly. The bonding that it allowed was sublime – we’re more in sync than we’d been in previously. The conversations we are continuing to have since that scene tell me we are both very much on the same page.
I’ve tried to take it slow with Hobbes. I really have. I’m insistent on frequent communication and making explicit to him what I’m doing and why as the relationship progresses. It’s an absolute joy to watch him blossom and grow into his kinks and his submission. He is really finding his place and I’m absolutely loving the path he and I are on. In the past, I’ve connected on a few fronts with D/s partners, but for a variety of reasons, I’ve never been able to pursue the full-on type of D/s relationship I crave. Don’t get me wrong – my D/s relationships have been (and are) satisfying and good, but with Hobbes, the stars seem to be aligning in ways I didn’t dare hope for before.
So all in all, a great Con. A perfect little bubble of kink and D/s that I refused to let talk of politics penetrate. A much needed respite from the frightening and depressing political landscape and a wonderful chance to further my D/s journey with a fantastic partner.