Comfort Zones

Yes, I’ve been quiet here again. Things have been progressing amazingly well with Hobbes, who’s started his own blog here. A couple of years ago, I put this quote on my FetLife profile: I like being alone. I have control over my own shit. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to Read More…

Ask a Dominant Anything

A week ago, Sinclair Sexmith, a blogger, writer, educator, and all-round awesome person  asked me to co-moderate a live, one-hour webinar called “Ask a Dominant Anything”. It was a lot of fun, with around 50 folks logged in for the session. Sinclair had to leave early, so I tried to answer as many as I Read More…

Mindful Breathing

In recent years, I’ve worked on being mindful – on being truly present with others. I’ve dabbled with meditation, although nothing as regular as I’d like. I’ve read some good writing on such things, most notably this little volume which I tend to eventually recommend to most folks I care about: The idea being that Read More…

Feedback – and I don’t mean that squawk from the microphone

Feedback Noun /ˈfēdˌbak/ “First used in 1920 in the electronics sense. Transferred use, “information about the results of a process” is attested by 1955.” 1. A reaction or response to a particular process or activity.   2. Evaluative information derived from such a reaction or response. (source: feedback. (n.d.). Online Etymology Dictionary. Retrieved September 17, Read More…

Pushing Limits

We dominant-type folks like to tell our submissives, “pushing soft limits is how you grow”, we’re fond of encouraging others to try new things and step outside their comfort zone. But if continual growth is the goal, those things should hold true for us as well. And sometimes we forget that and get stuck in Read More…

Lost and Found

I haven’t blogged lately…lots going on! This is my last semester of PhD coursework and there’s an incredible amount of work to be done. The weather has been insane. And oh yeah…I’m exploring a new relationship with a lovely boy. If you read his blog, you’ve been awaiting my perspective on things. Let’s get right Read More…